its the 3rd week you have left. times are hard. i see ur profile every now and then. i wonder to myself what have you been doing are you happy.. i hate you for being such a flirt. but truth is imy.. imy alot. i spent most of my time with my friends going out with them because i have to take my mind of you. flashbacks and memories just keep haunting me.. if i knew this will happen for the second time i wouldnt have agreed to be back with you.. why , why are you such a person. we could have lasted.. its all because of you and your changed personality. why must you change so much just so people will like you. why are you being someone you are not.. am i really a bad girl. am i really not worth. am i really that bad..
love life. i dont have any faith in it anymore. idk which guy can be compared to you. i dont care about any other guys . idk why. its like, you are so much more important to me. even now that you have left. there's this part inside me that misses you terribly. in a blink of an eye its already the 3rd week you have left. exactly 3 weeks... 21days... soon it'll be months then years. will i ever see you again.. idk. as much as i hate what you are doing.. why dont you ever reply my msg if you say we are friends. why must you always lie to me. why..
i cant do anything now but to just wish you all the best. stay happy.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
25july.
i dont know what kind of day is today. i guess. its kind of manageable. the day passed really fast. but till i was alone in the bus, feelings came back haunting me. thinking. why , why does shaun have to flirt. why is he such a guy. i feel really cheated. im upset. im disappointed. all can say now is if only.. but its all to no use. if only is just a thought now. just got to let it go slowly no matter how hard it is. least even though he is flirting, he is happy. if he is happy that way then i cant say anthing. guess i will just have to treat it as fate. during the times with him, we really had the extremes. maybe its just my fault. crying always kind of works. after i cry i will be okay. but it does not help in the long run at all.. somehow i will still have to forget. its easy said then done. i thought i am able to get through it. but actually i cant. just got to stay strong, and try my best.
quite tired today. but luckily time pass quite fast today. its time. time i start doing work and focus. promos is coming. i dont want to retain. i just have no more confidence and faith in myself anymore. like, i give up so easily, or dont even try. whats coming of me. why am i so weak now. i wanna be strong all over again. i wish i can have him by my side. staying faithful and truthful. but guess he cant. he's a flirt. i've given my best. even though it hurts, i dont deserve the treatment from him.
need to let it go.. slowly.. and carry on with life. im thankful, for my friends. for being there for me. always. i know i can do it. i will let go for them. be happy for them. :)
pe was quite okay though i feel the strain in my legs after sprinting. i am so weak now, :/ where did the strong me go to. time to buck up. i dont want to waste my mum's money. life's tough but they dont show it to us.. sometimes i do feel guilty for not talking to them properly.
need to do some work and sleep soon.
TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY! <3
quite tired today. but luckily time pass quite fast today. its time. time i start doing work and focus. promos is coming. i dont want to retain. i just have no more confidence and faith in myself anymore. like, i give up so easily, or dont even try. whats coming of me. why am i so weak now. i wanna be strong all over again. i wish i can have him by my side. staying faithful and truthful. but guess he cant. he's a flirt. i've given my best. even though it hurts, i dont deserve the treatment from him.
need to let it go.. slowly.. and carry on with life. im thankful, for my friends. for being there for me. always. i know i can do it. i will let go for them. be happy for them. :)
pe was quite okay though i feel the strain in my legs after sprinting. i am so weak now, :/ where did the strong me go to. time to buck up. i dont want to waste my mum's money. life's tough but they dont show it to us.. sometimes i do feel guilty for not talking to them properly.
need to do some work and sleep soon.
TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY! <3
Sunday, July 24, 2011
a week.
about a week since you left. you decided you want to leave. to leave me for good. why, why are you doing this to me. i thought we could last. we could last forever, till the day we die. we talked, we had plans, but now, its all gone.
i wished you hadnt done this. i wish you wouldnt change so much.
why.. why is it that you are now in a jc you are acting this way. are are you naturally like that. we've been tgt for 21 months. its not long but its not that short either. every since you came into my life. you made it so great. i feel so loved. but slowly as time goes by, you stop showing.. why, why is this so.. i know i took you for granted the other time.. but i've changed and i realise things. so why now you are acting this way. i just wish we wouldnt have quarreled so much.
you left me once.. when jc started for charlene.. and you came back.. saying you love me. is that really so. you had a tough time getting me back. but i accepted you in the end. knowing ou are repentful. but you are not.. this is happening the 2nd time.
but this time you tell me the reason why you are acting this way is because you cant cope. is it really true.. or is it some other reason.. if not why, why is there not a text from you. im not dumb my dear boy.. i know alot of things. but i choose not to say it. why take me for granted and just want me to understand everything. i hate myself, for being so nice to you. cause you are just getting all over me. you get sky high while i go to the rock bottom. why cant you treasure me. i dont think im that bad of a girl..
do you even love me from the start. when we were tgt or were you just playing with my feelings. just wanting me for a name, someone who is just a temporary substitute to your life... we went true so much, but you just gave us up like that. why.
why do you have to flirt. how many girls have you been flirting with. you claim you dont flirt. im not a small girl. i have eyes to see, ears to hear. i dont know what else to say to you anymore. i feel so hurt, i dont want to let us go.. but seems like i have no choice. i tried talking to you but you just wont listen, you want everything to go ur way. you put words in such a way that its ur fault but you are blaming me for it. im tired, tired of you and tired of us. but i chose to hang in there, you dont play ur part at all. i tolerate all your nonsense and give in to you but you dont appreciate.
you give ur number to countless girls, you want girls in ur sch, have leadership positions,etc. when will you wake up.. why are you so immature. thinking about it, i regret.. accepting you back. because im here going through all the pain again. it sucks. you make me suffer.. while you enjoy life and be happy.. dont i mean anything to you? you still say as though you feel the pain. stop it. stop lying... why do i believe you so much and just take it all on myself. you are so unreasonable.. who gets close to girls and touches them when you have a gf. so what if im not ur wife. i have the right to ask where are you. all ur fucking excuses just makes my blood boil when i think about them.im so stupid. i really am. i hate you. hate you for all that you have done. dont come back. asking for me. and giving excuses like wanting to jump down the building. im not stupid. i wont fall for ur tricks anymore. just wish to forget you totally and carry on with life. i believe in karma... there will be retribution.
I HATE YOU SHAUN NG YAN JIE.
i wished you hadnt done this. i wish you wouldnt change so much.
why.. why is it that you are now in a jc you are acting this way. are are you naturally like that. we've been tgt for 21 months. its not long but its not that short either. every since you came into my life. you made it so great. i feel so loved. but slowly as time goes by, you stop showing.. why, why is this so.. i know i took you for granted the other time.. but i've changed and i realise things. so why now you are acting this way. i just wish we wouldnt have quarreled so much.
you left me once.. when jc started for charlene.. and you came back.. saying you love me. is that really so. you had a tough time getting me back. but i accepted you in the end. knowing ou are repentful. but you are not.. this is happening the 2nd time.
but this time you tell me the reason why you are acting this way is because you cant cope. is it really true.. or is it some other reason.. if not why, why is there not a text from you. im not dumb my dear boy.. i know alot of things. but i choose not to say it. why take me for granted and just want me to understand everything. i hate myself, for being so nice to you. cause you are just getting all over me. you get sky high while i go to the rock bottom. why cant you treasure me. i dont think im that bad of a girl..
do you even love me from the start. when we were tgt or were you just playing with my feelings. just wanting me for a name, someone who is just a temporary substitute to your life... we went true so much, but you just gave us up like that. why.
why do you have to flirt. how many girls have you been flirting with. you claim you dont flirt. im not a small girl. i have eyes to see, ears to hear. i dont know what else to say to you anymore. i feel so hurt, i dont want to let us go.. but seems like i have no choice. i tried talking to you but you just wont listen, you want everything to go ur way. you put words in such a way that its ur fault but you are blaming me for it. im tired, tired of you and tired of us. but i chose to hang in there, you dont play ur part at all. i tolerate all your nonsense and give in to you but you dont appreciate.
you give ur number to countless girls, you want girls in ur sch, have leadership positions,etc. when will you wake up.. why are you so immature. thinking about it, i regret.. accepting you back. because im here going through all the pain again. it sucks. you make me suffer.. while you enjoy life and be happy.. dont i mean anything to you? you still say as though you feel the pain. stop it. stop lying... why do i believe you so much and just take it all on myself. you are so unreasonable.. who gets close to girls and touches them when you have a gf. so what if im not ur wife. i have the right to ask where are you. all ur fucking excuses just makes my blood boil when i think about them.im so stupid. i really am. i hate you. hate you for all that you have done. dont come back. asking for me. and giving excuses like wanting to jump down the building. im not stupid. i wont fall for ur tricks anymore. just wish to forget you totally and carry on with life. i believe in karma... there will be retribution.
I HATE YOU SHAUN NG YAN JIE.
Friday, July 30, 2010
hmm. dead blog... should just write smth.
life's have been hard on me. with e person that sucks like shit! SERIOUSLY!
a person like her should exist.
A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING!!!
making me go crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! its such a long story. its not the first time this had happen.
they maybe're not my true friends afterall. its like, isnt a friend suppose to be thr for you? and not try to say stuff and make ppl dislike you? she's like a person whom ppl think that she's nice and all.. BUT SHE'S NOT! they should see properly luhh. its like they're blinded wif her words.
this thing had made me utterly sad.. =( sigh. dunno why i feel so sad. cried.. couldn't take it. it's like i dont know.. but i do know that FRIENDSHIP MEANS ALOT TO ME. but of course you mean more to me.
i dont understand why she's like that. jealous uh. LOLS. such a bitch and a slut. she make my day so bad.
she should just go and die!!!
i cannot stand her. thr's a lot of reasons why.
now, ppl in the clique also treat me like that. WTF?! im not someone whom you can treat as you feel like. wanna treat me this way, FINE. cause at the end of the day, its not me who's losing out. i dun lose anything.
BUT IM ANGRY WIF HER. SUPER ANGRY. I dont know how to put my anger into words. trying to not care about ppl her them but its so hard! make me cry. URGHHH.
dont wanna talk about her anymore. waste my time only. shall talk abt the day i had today.
recieved amth test on integration. 16/20 quite happy although i could've gotten 18.
Dr Mel Gill came to talk to us. and he's amazing. seriously. i like him =)) as in the way he tells us things. engages me =)
hmm. you've tuition today.. which means cant text. =(( bad thing. but good thing is you're studying. sighh it just reminds me of her... its like, sigh =( you're two timing of smth... i dont like the feeling of it when girls relate to you, you two seem so close... fb... wad should i say? im speechless... its like liking here and thr.. i just feel so uncomfortable... very uncomfortable.. thats why i keep quiet.. dont you know that... when im quite when talking to you means i feel uncomfortable and feel like crying? =((
shall just stop here and type again soon
I WANNA DO WELL FOR MY O'S!
life's have been hard on me. with e person that sucks like shit! SERIOUSLY!
a person like her should exist.
A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING!!!
making me go crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! its such a long story. its not the first time this had happen.
they maybe're not my true friends afterall. its like, isnt a friend suppose to be thr for you? and not try to say stuff and make ppl dislike you? she's like a person whom ppl think that she's nice and all.. BUT SHE'S NOT! they should see properly luhh. its like they're blinded wif her words.
this thing had made me utterly sad.. =( sigh. dunno why i feel so sad. cried.. couldn't take it. it's like i dont know.. but i do know that FRIENDSHIP MEANS ALOT TO ME. but of course you mean more to me.
i dont understand why she's like that. jealous uh. LOLS. such a bitch and a slut. she make my day so bad.
she should just go and die!!!
i cannot stand her. thr's a lot of reasons why.
now, ppl in the clique also treat me like that. WTF?! im not someone whom you can treat as you feel like. wanna treat me this way, FINE. cause at the end of the day, its not me who's losing out. i dun lose anything.
BUT IM ANGRY WIF HER. SUPER ANGRY. I dont know how to put my anger into words. trying to not care about ppl her them but its so hard! make me cry. URGHHH.
dont wanna talk about her anymore. waste my time only. shall talk abt the day i had today.
recieved amth test on integration. 16/20 quite happy although i could've gotten 18.
Dr Mel Gill came to talk to us. and he's amazing. seriously. i like him =)) as in the way he tells us things. engages me =)
hmm. you've tuition today.. which means cant text. =(( bad thing. but good thing is you're studying. sighh it just reminds me of her... its like, sigh =( you're two timing of smth... i dont like the feeling of it when girls relate to you, you two seem so close... fb... wad should i say? im speechless... its like liking here and thr.. i just feel so uncomfortable... very uncomfortable.. thats why i keep quiet.. dont you know that... when im quite when talking to you means i feel uncomfortable and feel like crying? =((
shall just stop here and type again soon
I WANNA DO WELL FOR MY O'S!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
WEDDING! =D
shall talk about the wedding hat i attended on friday after exam. it was kinda cool =) woke up at about 5 plus to study on that day. and slept at 12 plus cause making the card. was dead tired when i reached god-ma's place. i went to god-ma's place at about 1 plus cause had to wait for sissy to finish school. there were many people there. hahs. the brides' sisters and grooms' brothers. wondered how did they come into the house. heard that they had to eat chili padi and eat disgusting stuff. wished i could be there. but nehmind. after when the people left, i went to bathe and get ready for the dinner. went to saloon to do my hair. gosh. $39 for me! so expensive.(will upload the photos next time). when we reached the hotel, it was really dam awesome. a suite! =DD i like the bedroom and the bathroom. cool cool. =D hahah. was walking around in heels that day. my feet so painful! but i was tall! =) hahah. they've been dating for 13 years and they called it a marathon whereby it come to a wonderful ending. kinda cool. awesome. ^^ was busy the whole day. reached back here at about 12 plus 1. dan bathed and sleep =X had a long day.
slept over at god-ma's place till saturday. dan went out in the afternoon. =D was suppose to go home but decided that sunday(which is today) night dan go home =] will be going out later today. was suppose to go for some amazing race thing but i forgot to hand up the form. =X its a combine with chua chu kang secondary. hahs.
im dead beat but i cant sleep D=
slept over at god-ma's place till saturday. dan went out in the afternoon. =D was suppose to go home but decided that sunday(which is today) night dan go home =] will be going out later today. was suppose to go for some amazing race thing but i forgot to hand up the form. =X its a combine with chua chu kang secondary. hahs.
im dead beat but i cant sleep D=
Thursday, October 15, 2009
one more day!
woohoo ^^ one more day to go before exam end!! dan wedding!! i love weddings xDD hahs. wonder how its gonna be like. although paper finishes at 9, i can go early cuz sister having sch! =( so will go straight once sissy finishes sch. which is at about 1. -.- went out for lunch today. spent $250. expensive expensive. sighh. i wanna buy shoe. i wanna go SHOPPING!! thr's smth i wish for. smth that i want my mum to do.
today's chem was average. im not sure if i did the paper correctly. i mean the equation part. so hard to calculate!
im gonna bring camera tmr!! ^^ hopefully can take alot alot of pictures.
today's chem was average. im not sure if i did the paper correctly. i mean the equation part. so hard to calculate!
im gonna bring camera tmr!! ^^ hopefully can take alot alot of pictures.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
2 more days!
two more days to end of exams! cant wait! hehe. ^^ amaths ytd was so so so so difficult. i cant do the paper! =( amaths is acutally one of my strongest subject but it turn out to be... sigh. out of the 2h 30 min, i did barely half the paper. i mean.. i skipped and stuff. ALL SO DIFFICULT CAN! wad kind of paper is this!! GRR!! make me cry!! =(((((( while doing halfway, wanted to give up. looked around and saw everybody writing so i thought it was just me that found the paper so difficult. guess my amaths gonna fail badly le. ._. wasnt feeling well while doing the paper. dan after that was bio. it was okay though i didnt know how to do some parts. THANK YOU CLAUDIA YEO! lemme beat you =XX sorry ah. was a bit crazy. dan nervous and also stressed cuz i have not studied finish bio and sad due to amaths. THANK YOU CLAUDIA SIM. =)) you're cheerful smile will brightens ppl's day. tmr's chemistry! i better study hard and pass cuz combine. and friday's the wedding!! cant wait xD maybe i should wear black stockings ^.^
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