25july.

i dont know what kind of day is today. i guess. its kind of manageable. the day passed really fast. but till i was alone in the bus, feelings came back haunting me. thinking. why , why does shaun have to flirt. why is he such a guy. i feel really cheated. im upset. im disappointed. all  can say now is if only.. but its all to no use. if only is just a thought now. just got to let it go slowly no matter how hard it is. least even though he is flirting, he is happy. if he is happy that way then i cant say anthing. guess i will just have to treat it as fate. during the times with him, we really had the extremes. maybe its just my fault. crying always kind of works. after i cry i will be okay. but it does not help in the long run at all.. somehow i will still have to forget. its easy said then done. i thought i am able to get through it. but actually i cant. just got to stay strong, and try my best.

quite tired today. but luckily time pass quite fast today. its time. time i start doing work and focus. promos is coming. i dont want to retain. i just have no more confidence and faith in myself anymore. like, i give up so easily, or dont even try. whats coming of me. why am i so weak now. i wanna be strong all over again. i wish i can have him by my side. staying faithful and truthful. but guess he cant. he's a flirt. i've given my best. even though it hurts, i dont deserve the treatment from him.

need to let it go.. slowly.. and carry on with life. im thankful, for my friends. for being there for me. always. i know i can do it. i will let go for them. be happy for them. :)

pe was quite okay though i feel the strain in my legs after sprinting. i am so weak now, :/ where did the strong me go to. time to buck up. i dont want to waste my mum's money. life's tough but they dont show it to us.. sometimes i do feel guilty for not talking to them properly.

need to do some work and sleep soon.


TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY! <3